FIGHT SHYNESS

In two studies of people in their early 20s in this month's Pediatrics, researchers found that former preemies were less likely to leave home, live with a romantic partner or be sexually active. They were also more inhibited and more apt to obey social conventions.

This is a specific trait with key consequences that in the past has often been confused with innate shyness, inhibitedness, innate fearfulness, introversion, and so on.

Many psychologists who treat people aflicted by shyness recommend a program of repeated and gradually increasing exposure to the feared situation, combined with helping the client learn new ways of thinking. If your case is not particularly severe, you can often learn enough from reading a book and doing the recommended exercises to greatly relieve your symptoms of shyness or depression.

Amanda, an intravert, and Tina, an extravert, combine to offer tips on fighting shyness. They identify one of the factors as (negative) preoccupation with self. As Amanda says, "Most people are not looking at me with the detail that I am looking at myself." Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation means you tend to pay too much attention to all the things you are doing wrong when you are around other people.

Hi I belong to the tribe of sufferers from a strange infliction that outsiders think of as charming, shyness. Only fellow sufferers can know how it is anything but charming. Yet, down the years, I have found strategies to handle shyness, and hope to share them with you. I will also pick up and post links to helpful sites that tackle the subject.